“ARGHHH,” I exclaimed as I scoured the house in a panic, almost out of breath.
“What’s wrong daddy?” My oldest was distraught. She could see the frustration in my face as I flung open cabinets, turned over piles of papers. “Are you missing something? Can I help?” Chloe was genuinely concerned.
I snapped back, “Have you girls seen my wallet?! I put it right here on the counter and now it’s missing.” I had reached my boiling point. I knew we were going to be late to school and already had a late start to the morning. “Roxy, did YOU touch Daddy’s wallet?” It was less of a question and more of an accusation.
“Um…” thinking about where she might have put it I’m sure. The 15 seconds felt like eternity. “Um… uh…” tapping her chin the whole time like it’s some kind of game.
“I don’t have time for this Roxy! Did you touch my wallet? It has all of Daddy’s important cards and money. We cannot leave until we find it. This is serious!” To describe the level of my voice and tone would be similar to a drill sergeant keeping in line a soldier who clearly wasn’t cut out for service. It wasn’t my finest moment.
Like a light bulb illuminating a pitch black room, she was struck by a divine revelation, “Daddy! I know! It’s in your book bag.”
Seriously. The look I flung back at her was full of cynicism. “Roxy, I already looked in there. Don’t you think daddy is smart enough to look through a bag?!” If she was thinking clearly at all, she would remain silent and not respond to the question. “I’m heading upstairs. You girls finish eating breakfast. Be done when I get back down here. Once I find my wallet we’re going to school. Quickly!”
Back upstairs. Digging through drawers. Surely someone walking in would have thought the winning lottery ticket was at the bottom of the hamper as I flung clothes in my search.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Plopping down in my chair of failure, I didn’t know where else to look. Out came the phone as I began to type out via text to my wife that my wallet was gone. We’d have to cancel cards, go through the DMV, insurance, all our other membership cards, etc.
As she finished her milk, Roxy quietly put her dishes in the sink, threw away her napkin, and disappeared behind the kitchen island. As she popped back up around the other side, she made her way to my book bag, opened up the outer pocket, pulled out my wallet, and set it softly on the table.
“Why did you move my wallet!? Do you know how important this is? Don’t you remember Daddy and Mommy say to never touch our things?…” were the statements formulating in my brain for my 3 year old teaching moment. As they were about to spill out in a frustrated parenting rant, Roxy gently told me-
“I was helping. I didn’t want you to lose it. I love you.”
*gut punch*
You make plans. You have ideas. You have dreams and goals and all of these expectations of what the future holds. Then, plans change. Things get moved, altered, and scattered from what you anticipated. In response, you ask God why in the world things don’t go the way you planned.
Trying to get that new job. They never call back.
Hoping to get pregnant. All attempts return void.
Hoping for friendship. Nothing but lonely nights.
Working to get out of debt. A whirlwind of chaos financially drains your account.
Plans for your future as set. Everything gets turned over in upheaval.
You raise your fist to the sky. Shout out to the spiritual forces that be and ask with contempt, “This isn’t what I planned! Why aren’t you working with me?” Maybe what you’re really saying to Him is, “Why aren’t you working FOR me?”
Truth be told, I almost forgot my wallet that morning. My wallet is a source of constant searching and seeking from misplacing it. My kids watch it on a regular basis. Roxy knew that, and took care of me. I didn’t know it. And when I asked her, I didn’t even want to hear or believe her response. How many times do you do that to God?
In reality, she knew what I needed before I knew it.
Quite possibly, and I believe it to be true, God knows exactly what you need.
He loves you deeply. If you haven’t ever heard that, let me say it again, “He loves you deeply.”
He’s going to provide what you need in the manner and timing He knows you need it.
Not a second sooner.
Not on your time table.
He is going to take care of you.
He might even move your wallet.
Just to teach you…
to trust Him.
What is God teaching you through planning and wanting something?
Is patience something you aren’t good with? How can those around you help you?
If He (God) moved your “wallet” to where you really needed it to be, would you be receptive to it?
His will and plan is perfect. What can you change to listen more to God?