Awhile back I fell off the top of a ladder in our warehouse space.
Did I mention it hurt?!
Staff came to my rescue, offered to call 9-1-1, I passed on calling.
After a few days, felt almost 100%.
Then, the pain started.
Shooting pain in my hip/lower back as I walked.
Loss of feeling when sitting.
Hip & lower back swollen during heavy activity.
But, kind of dismissed it and moved on.
(Note: Ignoring the signs is such a bad idea… and… my wife was right, but don’t tell her.)
Sunday around 5am, it set in again.
Only this time, it felt like someone was standing on my side.
And then, they apparently started to jump on my side.
The pain was INTENSE.
But, I’m stubborn and male, so I refused to go to the Dr.
“Who’s gonna preach this morning?” I thought to myself.
(Note: This is pride/ego telling me God somehow needs me to do His work. It’s laughable that we sometimes think God ‘needs’ us. If not me- He would have used someone or something to get His message known.)
So, preached through the pain.
Rested away the afternoon, watched The Walking Dead, & went to bed.
Woke up this morning & the pain was back in a MAJOR WAY.
My hip doesn’t lie. It was time to go to the doctor.
After exams, multiple x-rays, and a few consults, my hip is messed up.
Doc said eventually I’ll have to have surgery, stay away from certain activities, etc.
I asked him, “What do I do now about the pain?”
“Endure it and be patient.”
Not exactly what I wanted to hear.
I wanted, “This is how we can fix it.”
Instead, I was told “You’ll have to manage the pain. And eventually, when it’s time, have surgery.”
I hate having to wait.
I hate having toÂ relinquishÂ control.
I don’t want to manage or endure the pain.
I want the pain to end right now.
I want to go back to young 20-Something Jason.
I’ve told God the same thing about some of my circumstances.
“God, I hate waiting.”
“God, I hate having to give YOU control.”
“God, I don’t want to manage the pain or endure this moment!”
“God, make it end RIGHT NOW!”
“God, I want to go back to [insert ideal moment] in life.”
“Child, I will wait with you.”
“I’m big enough to handle it, let me take it. Trust me.”
“You might have some pain to endure, but I’m gonna teach you something great in this moment.”
“If I end the pain now, you will just go back to the same old you. I have BIGGER plans for you.”
“Well, that moment you think is so great back then, is nothing compared to what I have in store.”