Branded With Love

(word cloud of playlist lyrics done in Wordle)

Music for me has always been a mile marker.

• My bus driver listening to “Broken Wings” by Mister Mister on the way to school.
• Listening to the drums kick in on “In The Air Tonight” by Phil Collins as I rode with my dad in his old Mazda truck.
• Rockin’ to “Pump It Up” by The Fat Boys as I learned to do animation in art classes.
• The first time I saw 411 Skateboard Video Magazine and saw the East Coast Section with “9th Wonder” by Digable Planets.
• Hiding by Mom’s copy of Madonna’s “True Blue” album and wondering about girls for the first time.
• Unfortunately being seduced by corporate America and being stoked to open up New Kids On The Block debut cassette.
• Reaching high school and coming into contact with all kinds of new old different and amazing styles of music.
• Then living out teen angst and subculture attending shows where anthems rang out and were sung loud.

It’s unreal.
Music marks moments in time for me.

• Like sitting in my room and listening to “Praise You In This Storm” by Casting Crowns. Literally 81 times continuously until I could finally get off my floor after experiencing the loss of our first child to a miscarriage.
• Or when my wife and I met, the song playing in the background the first time we kissed was “Brightest” by Copeland.
• Every time I hear Color Me Bad, I just give my wife the look… and… well… you know… (enough of that).

Music is a way to stir emotion, tell a story, release your feelings, worship, get out aggression, unwind & relax, entertainment and sheer enjoyment.
Music is an expression of the soul.
God created us to worship.
It’s part of our DNA.
And the playlist I shared in the previous post tells a story.
It’s my story. It’s your story.
And we’ll kick off with track one next time.

Jason *over and out*

Before I preach, speak, meet with someone who needs help, as I’m thinking over a heavy situation before God, work through my own personal sin, etc. I listen to this playlist. It’s a new revised version, but most of my solid staples are there. If you’re looking for a good mix, pick up these tracks on iTunes, Amazon, or whatever music deal you use. I’ll be talking a little bit about why these tracks and why the specific order this week…

• “Far Away” by Lecrae
• “Out Of The Ground” by John Mark McMillan
• “These Hard Times” by Needtobreathe
• “We Will Worship You” by Carlos Whitaker
• “Glory Screams” by Revolution Worship
• “Break Me Down” by Tenth Avenue North
• “Change The World (Lost Ones)” by Anberlin
• “Alive” by P.O.D.
• “Control” by Mute Math
• “Secret Of The Easy Yoke” by Pedro The Lion
• “Hard to Be” by David Bazan
• “In Stitches” by David Bazan
• “Dare You To Move” by Switchfoot

What songs are driving you?
What songs make you jump up and get your lazy butt in gear?
Share ‘em people.

Jason *over and out*

If you’re looking to view/share the entire series, you can check it out here:
http://www.brandedwithlove.com/category/marriage/

Carrie and I have had a tough time with your questions, but we are so glad you’re asking them. It allows us the opportunity (you, Carrie and I) to dialogue, share, and start the open conversations that need to happen for us to be able to have relationships & marriages that honor God. We’re not naive enough to think these answers are going to be the end to your problems. It’s a help, but you’ll need accountability, a community of people to help when things get rough, and a faith strong enough to endure the highs and lows.

As a couple, here is what has kept us strong before God:

• We made a commitment to be open and honest about everything. EVERYTHING.
• We never go to bed angry. Talking about things and getting somewhat settled before sleeping is a huge plus for us.
• We study God’s word separately, but talk about things we’re studying/learning together.
• Every decision we make that effects the family is discussed. No one makes decisions in a vacuum.
• We parent as a team. There are things we disagree on when it comes to parenting our kids, but behind closed doors we figure it out. We’re a united front as far as our kids are concerned.
• We spend as much time as possible helping people. It reminds us that we don’t always get it right and we don’t have it as bad as we think we do at times.
• We’re committed to the ministry of God’s church locally/globally. As a couple we realize that when we allow ourselves to thrive through God’s church, he brings us to places we never dreamed.
• We live each day without boundaries. As two OCD planning freaks, we realized we were taking opportunities out of God’s hands, which in turn took the opportunities away from us. Whatever the day allows or drops on us… we roll with it (not always with a smile, but we eventually get there).
• We realize that the valleys we experience together are what make us a couple. How we encounter, interact, and rely on God during the low points… we always have been able to look back and see God’s fingerprint on us coming out of it. We’re blown away by Him daily.

Thanks for being such a great church and allowing Carrie and I to serve with you. It’s times like these we couldn’t be happier to be leading/serving w/ Forefront. Let’s keep it moving people! We’ve got a long way to go and tons of people in Hampton Roads who need to experience the love of God.

Until next time,
Carrie & Jason *over and out*

*If you want to get in touch with Carrie or I about Forefront, marriage stuff, etc. Here’s our email:
carrie@brandedwithlove.com and jason@brandedwithlove.com

So, we kicked off this series two weeks ago and the response has been unreal. So many of you had questions about marriage/relationships according to God & the Bible- that we decided to do an entire week of the series based on your questions. Carrie and I are going to spend all week looking at your questions and answering the rest we didn’t get to on Sunday. Time for Round 9…

How can a man start on the path to becoming a leader? Is that just making the decisions for the family?

Answer: No, it is not just making decisions for your family. Family decisions should be something you work on together with your wife. You aren’t a leader/dictator- you are a leader/team. You and your wife are a team to keep the family directed towards God and functioning properly.

As far as becoming a leader. I think first and foremost is to be a fully-devoted follower of Jesus. Making decisions, life choices, and personal commitments that reflect God’s heart. You’ll get to know God’s heart by reading about it (the Bible), talking with Him (prayer), and living it out (day to day life). Past that, I found a great check-list/evaluation tool online to see if you’re heading in the right direction to be a leader in your family and as a Christian:

1) Probably the most important thing you can do as a Christian leader is to clean up your act—if there is anything in your life, moral or ethical, which would not stand up to scrutiny if God found out (and he already knows it, so the gig is up)—you must eliminate it immediately. Do not give anyone an occasion to think that you are a hypocrite.

2) Be sure that every decision you make is honest and ethical. You cannot effectively lead, as a Christian or not, when your decisions and actions are not above-board, fair, and honest.

3) As a Christian leader, commit to telling the truth no matter what. As a Christian leader, when you lie or tell half-truths, people tend to feel that your entire faith is a sham. In fact, if you are habitually lying and telling half-truths, your faith may indeed be a sham.

4) Learn everything you can about the tasks at hand, even if it means working in the trenches for awhile. No one likes to be led by someone who has never done what they are doing. This doesn’t mean you have to become an expert, just participate in the menial work long enough to understand the frustrating aspects of the work. Another benefit to this is, when you have actually done the work, you can more effectively brainstorm solutions to challenges when they arise.

5) Lead by example. Do you expect your employees or secretaries to arrive on time for work, and dressed well? Then you must do the same. Sometimes it is so easy to think that you have earned the right to come in whenever you feel like it, or to return from lunch whenever you wish. Sure, you may have earned the right, but you gain far more by setting the example for performance. Do you expect others to work overtime when a project is behind projections? Then you must be willing to do the same.

6) Although you may feel you have earned the right to delegate away all the work, continue to be involved in productive tasks. By doing some of the work, not only do you gain the respect of your employees, but also you keep in touch with the flow of things. As a leader, it is easy to become disengaged from the actual productive segment of your business, and resultantly make decisions that look good on paper and sound good around the boardroom table, but are actually worthless when the rubber hits the road.

7) Constantly reevaluate your own performance. Often, you may spend so much time correcting the actions of others and solving crises you didn’t create, that you develop a sense that others aren’t as capable as you. Consequently, you may not recognize when you are falling into bad habits that also need to be corrected. Be the first to recognize and correct your own short-comings.

8 ) Avoid pride. Once in a position of leadership, especially if you are good at what you do, it is easy to begin to feel that you are invincible. Once that occurs, you become vulnerable to pride, and may make decisions you would frown on if your subordinates made the same decisions. Maintain full responsibility for your actions, and keep them above-board at all times.

I need your help. I’m tired of being taken advantage of. How can I fix that? Thanks for helping.

Answer: It’s one thing to be humble, it’s another to be a doormat. I believe God wants us to show people Jesus. But, I don’t think being a Christian means we simply allow people to hurt others without speaking up on the person’s behalf. Being taken advantage of is a serious thing. Most of the time it happens with men taking advantage of women.

The main reason we see this scenario is because men are usually more able (physically/emotionally) to take control of their partner and intimidate them into doing what they want. This is wrong, ungodly, and sinful. I encourage you to talk with him, but possibly bring another person with you to be an unbiased third party. This way if the verbal and/or physical onslaught arises, there will be someone who can help. In this talk, I would set some boundaries of things that can and cannot happen. This way, you can clearly speak up when things are not meeting the set boundaries you discussed. I would also begin to take a stand. Abuse/being taken advantage of, whether it’s verbal or physical, is not right and it pains the heart of God. As a child of God, you do not deserve to be taken advantage of. He counts you as precious.

I am happily engaged to an amazing man. We have been in a relationship for a few years and known each other for longer than that. Well it seems that every time something goes wrong it seems to be my fault. I don’t know what to do to try and change this. I have even said something to him and it still does not change. What do I do??

Answer: Like the previous question, it’s time to really take a stand on this. You’re currently engaged, so the option of jumping out if this behavior continues is perfectly fine. I know you stated he is an amazing man, but an amazing man doesn’t push blame on his partner 100% of the time. It takes two to argue, disagree, and fight. It’s also a fact that none of us are perfect in relationships, so I’m certain he’s made a mistake, or two (or 200) over the years.

Romans 3:23 is pretty clear when Paul writes, “…for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” We’re screw ups. All of us, including your fiance. The truth is, he might be an amazing man, but he’s got control and pride issues if you’re always the one at fault.

It’s time for a very difficult heart to heart about God, love, sin, and boundaries. If he’s willing to commit to work together on this, see where it goes. If he gets angry and blames you for everything again, he isn’t the Christian man/leader you are looking for. If that ends up being the case, you’re now in the difficult position to determine if it’s worth staying in the relationship? 1 Corinthians 6 (a passage we’ve discussed in this series) talks about two people being unequally yoked (or two people who are not rooted in the same disciplines before God), it can cause a great deal of strife. Luckily, you are not married yet and have the ability to raise these questions and get answers BEFORE getting married.

More to come…
Carrie & Jason *over and out*

So, we kicked off this series two weeks ago and the response has been unreal. So many of you had questions about marriage/relationships according to God & the Bible- that we decided to do an entire week of the series based on your questions. Carrie and I are going to spend all week looking at your questions and answering the rest we didn’t get to on Sunday. Alright, it’s time for Round #8…

What do you do to rekindle the passion?

Answer: “Have way more sex.” – Jason ( “I apologize for my husband a lot, but I’m good with this answer. I’m turning three shades of red, but I’m okay with that.” – Carrie).

On a serious note (Jason), just like your relationship with God, your performance at work, your parenting skills, the fact that you can juggle four fully functioning chainsaws (I’m not sure if you can, but that would be cool)… all those things take a lot of work. You have to keep to keep at it, allow things to grow, mature, and make the effort. Especially when it comes to having kids. We promised ourselves we wouldn’t be “that couple.” We were going to have date nights every week, put the kids to bed early, stay up late talking (and other things, ha). Um, yeah… it was six months after Chloe was born before we had our first date night (we talked about her the whole time too). Passion takes work and practice. No to mention, you have years to work at it- so get to it.

What should my list of non-negotiables include when dating?

Answer: I’ll (Carrie) take this one. I would look for someone who loves God. I mean REALLY loves God. You need to look for someone who is able to show/lead you in a direction closer to Jesus. It doesn’t hurt if they look like David Beckham* (kidding, sort of), but looks are not a non-negotiable, faith in God is. Past that, I would look for character traits that show his love for God. Is he kind? Loving? Patient? Peaceful and not angry? Does he have self-control? If he does, he will treat you like a lady/God intended and not pressure you into any harmful or sinful situation.

*Note: “I think Carrie’s crush on Mr. Beckham is just as ridiculous as my crush on Posh Spice. Just saying.” – Jason

More to come…
Carrie & Jason *over and out*

So, we kicked off this series two weeks ago and the response has been unreal. So many of you had questions about marriage/relationships according to God & the Bible- that we decided to do an entire week of the series based on your questions. Carrie and I are going to spend all week looking at your questions and answering the rest we didn’t get to on Sunday. Let’s keep this thing going with Round Numero Seven-o (I know, horrible, improper Spanish)

What do you do when you think you’re not in love with them anymore?

Answer: First thing I (Carrie) would say, “Love is not a feeling, it’s a choice.” You invest time, emotions, energy, thoughts, etc. into someone. Why? Because you choose to. If you say “I don’t love them anymore,” what you are really saying is “I’m choosing not to invest my time, heart, energy, and emotions in them anymore.” You’re making a choice. Relationships and marriage take WORK. Tons of it. Truck loads even. Jason and I work at our marriage every day. Some days I love him more than anything in this world, other days I want him to sleep on the couch.

It’s tough. We aren’t always perfect. Because we are not perfect, each day we get up, hug one another, share a kiss, and remind ourselves why we made that commitment to one another 5+ years ago. In all, we’ve been together over seven years. I cannot think of anything other than God that I’ve been committed to for that long. But just like my relationship with God takes work; so does my relationship with Jason.

I would encourage you to work at it. Both of you, not just one side of relationship- both people. Rekindle the spark that made you desire, love, and care for your partner. But, it’s your choice. Choose to love.

Is it okay to live together before getting married. Even if you sleep in separate rooms?

Answer: Jason recently shared in his sermon a statistic from The Barna Group, where they found that couples that live together have an 85% chance of separating. We’ve counseled dozens of couples through different issues. When the issue of living together comes up, it’s usually surrounded by comments saying, “We wanted to test the waters” or “We wanted to know if we were compatible.”

When I hear that, I hear a couple who is trying to have their cake and eat it too. But, what we notice is that these couples find it much easier to jump ship at the slightest thing that bothers them. It’s a lack of commitment. It’s the catalyst of pushing a relationship apart in most instances.

Another issue is that it is a breeding ground of temptation. So you live together, but in separate rooms (Yeah right, how long is that going to last?). I love my husband and when we got engaged, it was almost impossible not to jump on one another and “get down to business” as he sometimes puts it (but I love him anyways). We found it hard to not go past lines that we knew we shouldn’t- and we didn’t even live together. If we had lived in the same house, forget about it.

God is clear on fleeing from temptations and sexual immorality. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:18 and following…

“¹⁸Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. ¹⁹Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”

God’s desire for you is to remain pure until marriage. Living together and putting yourself in that environment makes it more difficult to stay together and virtually impossible to stay pure. I would say figure out a way to not live together until you’re married. If you need help coming up with ways, please give me a shout: carrie@brandedwithlove.com

What boundaries should we have sexually? How far is too far when dating?

Answer: Like in the question before, 1 Corinthians 6:18 in the Bible addresses this very idea. The question shouldn’t be “How far is too far?” The real question should be “How far away from temptation can I be so I can honor God?”

Once you’re married, you have the rest of your life to have sex and enjoy your spouse. (Jason jumping in here) Exactly. Don’t let the little moments of temptation get in the way of what God has in store for you. This is coming from a guy who didn’t wait, but my wife did. The hurt that goes on inside of me is something I wish I could take away. God has done an amazing job of using His Spirit to work through my heart, but it takes time. Time to heal. Time to know God, your spouse, and others love you for you. It’s a tough thing to wait and discuss boundaries, but do it now.

Make a plan that you’ve talked about in advance and stick with it. Don’t be alone together. Whatever you do, don’t “spoon.” Spooning leads to touching, which leads to rubbing, which leads around the bases and then before you know it- you’re in the delivery room thinking of baby names. Just set the boundaries and hold to what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6, just run away from it (until you’re married, then you can enjoy your partner and have sex like bunnies).

(Carrie) I’d just like to say that this is Jason’s blog and “having sex like bunnies” would not have been my wording, but you get the point.

More to come…
Carrie & Jason *over and out*

So, we kicked off this series two weeks ago and the response has been unreal. So many of you had questions about marriage/relationships according to God & the Bible- that we decided to do an entire week of the series based on your questions. Carrie and I are going to spend all week looking at your questions and answering the rest we didn’t get to on Sunday. And now, Round 6…

Why is it that I only end up dating guys that are rude and don’t care?

Answer: Standards and non-negotiables are a big deal. God has standards for people who live a life for Him, and He lays out standards for a future partner: loves God, loves people, cares for the needy, lives selflessly, looks to honor God above anything else and honor their partner with every part of their being.

Those guys didn’t just get rude over night, they we’re rude when you met them. Raise your standard because God has a greater standard for how He loves and treats you. Don’t accept any less.

My other half is materialistic and thinks money=happiness. Family is becoming second. What should I do?

Answer: Well, Jesus warned quite a bit about the love of money. In Mark, Chapter 10, Jesus paints the picture of this love of money and the effects:

“As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honor your father and mother.’”

“Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.”

Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!” The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

We would encourage you to talk honestly about your feelings on this with your wife. Honesty is tough, but more often than not, spouses see the benefit and appreciate the heart-felt plea. Encourage the idea of a budget and allotted amounts of money each week, saving some for people who could use it. Possibly even use it for outreach projects, families you know who are without. The more open you both are, begin to reach a compromise, and hold one another accountable for purchases and use of money.

Another aspect is who your wife is placing as Lord/Savior. If she is a Christian and displaying this type of behavior, Matthew 18 is a great place to gain wisdom from in how to correct the behavior and bring it to her attention. If she is not a Christian, explain how money can break a part marriages/relationships. It’s the number one thing people get divorced over. Let her know you don’t want that and would like to take a look at your finances and see where you all can do better with them. Bring up your ideas of faith, God, and how to handle money at the appropriate time.

How do you get past prior trust violations?

Answer: Time. God. Love. Jesus talked about how we are to forgive, love, and move on. In Matthew 18 we see Jesus discuss this very idea:

“‘Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”  Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’”

Trust is one of the biggest things you need in a relationship, but it isn’t easy (at all). You simply cultivate a closer relationship with God and seek out people who can help you as you heal from this as a couple.

More To Come…
Jason and Carrie *over and out*

So, we kicked off this series two weeks ago and the response has been unreal. So many of you had questions about marriage/relationships according to God & the Bible- that we decided to do an entire week of the series based on your questions. Carrie and I are going to spend all week looking at your questions and answering the rest we didn’t get to on Sunday. Without further delay, it’s time for Round 5!

According to the Bible, how can someone who has stepped outside the Christian relationship boundaries (no sex until married), reinforce to others the importance to not have sex until you’re married? (Do as I say, not as I did)

Answer: We all have a story (some of us a more embarrassing one than others). Part of that story is allowing God to use our mishaps, shortcomings, and sinful past to point to how “He” can transform our lives (do as “HE” says, not as I did). In the Bible, Paul, who wrote much of the New Testament is a walking, talking example of this. Check out Acts 8:1-5:

“And Saul was consenting unto his death. And at that time there was a great persecution against the church which was at Jerusalem; and they were all scattered abroad throughout the regions of Judaea and Samaria, except the apostles. And devout men carried Stephen to his burial, and made great lamentation over him. As for Saul, he made havoc of the church, entering into every house, and haling men and women committed them to prison. Therefore they that were scattered abroad went every where preaching the word. Then Philip went down to the city of Samaria, and preached Christ unto them.”

Then God, trasforms His life, He still messes up on a daily basis, but begins teaching people how to love. Check out Romans 12:9-10:

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

”

How would God deal today, with people that have committed adultery whether it be in the flesh or with pornography?

Answer: Forgiveness. Grace. Love. Somehow we look at certain sins and think that people are beyond repair. God loves all people. Now, God is also just. Being a love God He shows grace to all and His love covers everyone through Jesus Christ. Jesus’ sacrifice and God’s grace are a gift. We can either choose to accept that gift, or we can turn from it and walk away. I love the grace of God. It makes my mess look so much more manageable. Forgiveness is an amazing thing.

More to come…
Jason and Carrie *over and out*

So, we kicked off this series two weeks ago and the response has been unreal. So many of you had questions about marriage/relationships according to God & the Bible- that we decided to do an entire week of the series based on your questions. Carrie and I are going to spend all week looking at your questions and answering the rest we didn’t get to on Sunday. Alright Round 4, watch your back!

According to the Bible, are there repercussions when a strong christian marries an atheist? And when that atheist never converts, do you stick it out?

Answer: I believe this gets back to the unequally yoked idea we talked about a few questions ago. These are tough questions you need to talk about before you get married. You may be head over heels “The Notebook, You Got Mail” in love with this person, but a lifetime of angst is not the direction God intended. Which he notes in 2 Corinthians 6:14.

 A question I would ask in response to this is, “If you’re such a strong Christian, what in the world were you thinking marrying an atheist?” God speaks clearly on this. Unless the person was a total liar and then sprung it on you after the honeymoon, “Hey honey, you know the whole Jesus thing? I’m not in to it… at all!”

Now in the message next week, we’re going to address this idea of “What is a woman to do who finds herself in a place where her husband does not believe in God the way she does.” This isn’t dodging the question, I just think it deserves more time and we’ll flesh this out more next week.

A girl had a baby out of wedlock. Daddy is not in the picture. She feels guilty saying her baby is a gift from God, when she was not created in a marriage. How does the Bible address that?

Answer: God, it seems, has a preference for children; after all, one of His first commands was to “be fruitful and multiply.” Throughout the Old Testament, having many children is listed among the signs of prosperity that indicate God’s favor. Psalm 127 states “Behold, sons are a gift from the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the sons of one’s youth. Happy the man whose quiver is filled with them.” Psalm 128 is one of my favorites; it states:

Happy the man who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways!
You shall eat of your hand’s labor; blessed are you, and it shall be well with you.
Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the recesses of your house;
Your sons, like olive shoots around your table.
Behold, in this way shall be blessed the man who fears the Lord.

God values children. His plan is for the family unit to be complete, but in a fallen world that doesn’t always happen. That being said, children are a gift. Cherish the baby you have and strive to serve God with all of your being. Part of the way you do that is by training that baby up to know Jesus.

More to come…
Jason & Carrie *over and out*

So, we kicked off this series two weeks ago and the response has been unreal. So many of you had questions about marriage/relationships according to God & the Bible- that we decided to do an entire week of the series based on your questions. Carrie and I are going to spend all week looking at your questions and answering the rest we didn’t get to on Sunday. So, Round 3! Time to dig in…

How to deal with in- laws that do not like you and say mean things? Do we suck it up and go there to visit?

Answer: Yeah. Suck it up. You answered your own question. Better yet, if it was a person you had never met and you knew that by your influence, God was going to use you to change their heart… would you stay then? I bet you would endure more, talk verbal abuse, and stick it out if you knew God could use you. Why do we sometimes discount the ones closest to us because of, “our own personal discomfort.” You’re going to have people in your life that rub you the wrong way. Better to be a beacon of influence for what is true and right? If God left and abandoned every person that said mean things to Him or disappointed Him, where would you be? Luckily, even when we were at our worst, God was at His best on our behalf:

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

Show a little love, pray for patience, and I would say, on a personal note to the person who sent this in- I love you, but God needs to stretch you. Let Him do the work He needs to do in you.

According to the Bible, when is it “ok” to get out of an unhealthy marriage?

Answer: Well, I think it’s appropriate to note Malachi 2:16, “I hate divorce, says the LORD God of Israel.” According to the Bible, marriage is a lifetime commitment. “So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” Matthew 19:6. The controversy over whether divorce and remarriage is allowed according to the Bible revolves primarily around Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9, where He teaches on “marital unfaithfulness.”

In the Greek, this refers to any form of sexual immorality. It can mean fornication, prostitution, adultery, bestiality, pornography, etc. Jesus is possibly saying that divorce is permissible if sexual immorality is committed. So that is the solid answer as to when it’s okay- but what if it’s something other than that?

Anger, Verbal or Physical Abuse, Lack of Willingness To Engage Your Spouse, Unwilling To Provide For Family, Lack Of Compatibility, and the list goes on. I think it’s safe to say that many of these issues revolve around a lack/unwillingness to submit to God as the ultimate authority with your life. This is something that each person needs to address as a couple and see if the person is willing to seek forgiveness and turn to God for repentance and allow God to change their life.

 However, God recognizes that divorce will occur, even among His children. A divorced and/or remarried person should not feel any less loved by God. God’s grace is deeper and greater than the messes we get ourselves in.

More to come…
Jason and Carrie *over and out*