We pray together every night baby.
I always end with, “God, thank you for letting me be Chloe’s daddy. Amen.”
With every beat of my heart, I mean it. You’re a gift.
But tonight, you broke down your big ol’ daddy to a puddle of emotion.
As we opened our eyes you looked at me.
I drown in those baby blues every single time you bat your lashes.
You’ve got me whooped.
You’re mommy and sissy have the same eyes.
I don’t stand a chance.
As you gazed into my face, you looked intently as you whispered-

“I’m glad I get to be your Chloe. You’re the best daddy God made for me.”

I just wrestled to not cry when you said the words.
I know when I cry you get worried that I’m hurt.
I tucked you in and laid you down to bed.
As I finally laid down to rest and waited for mommy to fall asleep, I lost it.
Because even though you believe I’m the best daddy…
I’m gonna make mistakes.
Wait, I’ve made mistakes already, ugh.
I ignore you while I play with my phone.
When you want to color, I blow you off because the news is on.
As I’m going over my sermon, you always want to sit on my lap.
I focus on church stuff, when I instead should wrestle & have a dance party.
I don’t want to miss another dance party with you.
I want to be an example for you.
I want to show you how to be loved.
I want to show you how much Jesus loves you.
I pray you see it through all my flaws and screw ups.
So, when those boys start trying to see more than your baby blues…
Tell ‘em to slow their roll.
Because you know a thing or two about what real love looks like.
And even though I make mistakes.
I love you little pookie.
And one day you’re gonna hear all the silly stories about you in sermons.
The embarrassing photos on Facebook & Twitter.
And you’re gonna read these posts I’ve written to you.
And the letters I’ve been saving for you each year on your birthday.
When you get old enough to read all this- I pray you know,
That while you feel like you’re the one getting the good end of the deal-

I’m the one who feels truly blessed to be a part of your life.
Love, Daddy

Just the other day I was talking on the phone with a fellow Forefronter. As we were chatting it up for a bit, I began to imagine he was one of the cool kids in high school. Walking the halls with a swagger that Kanye or Jay-Z would be envious of. Giving high fives & fist bumps with the other athletic kids, and enjoying “hellos and hey bros” from people as he strutted through his little kingdom, that we mere mortals call high school.

To be honest, he had confirmed many of my thoughts I was thinking in previous conversations. He was admittedly a cool guy in high school. Teachers knew him, ladies loved him, guys wanted to be him. But, there was something deeper he never mentioned when it came to being that guy.

He was lonely.

No matter how many people were around, he always felt like the only person in the room. Since he carried the facade for so long, it only made sense that it would naturally continue into adulthood. And it did. As we told stories and shared over the phone, I realized something, he wasn’t just wrestling with loneliness, he was screaming passive aggressively through the phone for a friend. For someone to talk to. What started as a simple conversation about a church event, turned into an hour and a half discourse on life, growing up, parent stories, and hashing through old wounds.

I felt for him. And, I think he heard me, but I started to get choked up a bit thinking through this. Mainly because…

In his loneliness, he’s not alone.

He isn’t alone, because- it’s you sometimes too. You go to Gel Group, attend church service, serve at events, spend time with people, hang out with your family & friends, wind down from a long day, lay your head to rest and think…

“Man, I wish I had someone to talk to about ___________.”

It’s okay. People get lonely. He’s not the only one. You’re not the only one. I’m not the only one. I get lonely, and I have human contact with friends daily. I’m not lacking for contact with people. But, contact and conversation doesn’t equal feeling together with others.

Make It Meaningful.

The next time you sit with someone- really look at them & listen.
Quit thinking about what you’re gonna say next.
Really, stop it.
You’re still thinking about it, listen to them.
What you’re THINKING of saying isn’t as important as what they ARE saying.
Be engaged.
Ask questions that matter.
If you thought someone was sad, how would you try to make them feel loved?
Okay, now do that when you are with others.
Yeah, I know it might feel weird.
Get over it.
They think you’re weird anyway.
This will just confirm it for them.
But, they’ll finally be able to say-

I have someone to talk to. And they care.

What just happend?!
No clue this interaction was going to go on like this.
Norma and I talked in the rain for about 15-20 minutes until her son came and picked her up.
My heart (while torn at first), decided to do what’s right instead of being selfish.
I came home, laid down for a bit, and woke up to this Facebook message:

When you want to say no – quit being selfish.
When you’ve got some where to be – it can wait.
When you think the world revolves around you – it doesn’t.
When you think someone else will help – you are the someone.
When you think no one is watching – they are. intently.
When you help someone thinking they’ll learn a lesson in love – you’re the one who gets schooled in love.

Norma, you’re a saint. You rocked my world with God’s love/truth today.
I’m glad your car was broke down so God could use you to break me down in the process.

- Jason

Unless you live under a rock, you’ve probably seen the “Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus” video circling YouTube (At least 16+ million have and continues to climb). Well, it stirred all kinds of controversy about whether or not it’s okay to hate religion and still love Jesus. Jay Bakker hates religion, Mark Driscoll hates it, Andy Stanley encourages you to lose it, so does R.E.M. 

It’s interesting. There are plenty of things done in the name of “religion” that are hurtful. I’ve even said “…it’s not about rules and regulations, but a relationship.” People hear religion, and they go running for the hills. It’s scary because of the stigma and social injustices that have happened in the name of God, faith, the church, etc.

But, I’m also a bit torn. I read passages like James 1:27, “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” So, there is a religion that is pure. In the NIV, it’s put this way, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless…”

So there is religion out there, untainted by you or I, that God looks down at and goes, “Man, they finally got it.” I pray I get there one day. I don’t think I’ve arrived- there’s plenty to learn in this journey of faith. This dialogue doesn’t look to be going away any time soon. Many different people are putting out responses (I’ve included one below), but what should our response possibly be in all of this?

As we search after God, let’s not strive to talk poorly of the church (which Jesus died for and will come back for one day), or religion (because anything can be tainted and abused by messed up people), and instead search out to honor God, share our faith, and build one another up in love.

Because after all, Love > Hate.

Over the past few weeks there has been a flurry of people posting photos like these, or catchy little meme photos with the saying,

“Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.”

In junior high I stole things.
In the third grade a girl touched me & I her. It was in a bad way, and we knew it.
In ’89 I lied to my parents about getting beat up & threw my bike in a ditch so I could get a new one.
In high school I used girls & tossed them aside like Post-it Notes.
In college I broke the rules because I hated the system.
In my early years of ministry I struggled with porn.
In my adult years I entertained my ego and gave in to pride.
In my life, I’ve…
hurt people.
let down my wife.
been absent when my girls needed me.
lied.
stolen.
abused.
chosen addiction.
stood before a judge and deserved a penalty.

Never regret anything?

When faced with a question, I wonder what God has to say about it?

Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness. When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 6:19-23

Shame and regret are some of the very emotions and heart conditions that lead my heart to repentance. My heart feeling heavy from the sin I’ve committed brings me to a place where I realize my need for forgiveness, redemption, God’s grace, etc. Adam & Eve were ashamed after eating the apple, Jonah was ashamed after running from God, the woman caught in adultery was ashamed in front of Jesus, and the Bible paints the disciples shame and regret numerous times as they fall short and let God down.

When I think about my past, and the stupidity I knowingly walked into on so many occasions… did it make me smile or happy? Absolutely. Sin is fun, and if you don’t think it is- you’re not doing it right. Satan doesn’t tempt us into something we wouldn’t enjoy. He entices us with things we’d LOVE to grab at. But, when I think about these things, it breaks my heart. The people I injured. The hearts I broke. The friends I destroyed. Never regret anything?

I’m growing into the man God is working on me to be with each stride and day that goes by. As I look forward, I love what I see. As I look back, I’m saddened by my past. While I’ve learned from it, there are some things I would love to go back and change. Knowing what and WHO I know now…

Shame and regret can bring us to a place where our hearts are ready to experience true love, grace, and redemption.

Carol Of The Bells from Forefront Church on Vimeo.

I loved our Christmas Eve/Eve Service. It was a great way to wrap up 2011. The year had some amazing things take place…

• Sending a team to Joplin to help with the clean-up relief. So pumped we were able to be a part of that.
• Packing an 18 wheeler with supplies and sending it down to Alabama for hurricane relief. The news came out a did a story, it was awesome to see something on the news that positive. You guys rock!
• Two teams to Vietnam to finish the water system for 600+ people to have clean water and build dorms for kids who need a place to sleep. Our impact there over the last few years has transformed that village. This year is going to be even better!
• 17 people to Mexico to build homes for families in need. That valley is forever changed with the love our high school ministry has shared there. If you have time off during the summer and haven’t gone yet, you are TOTALLY MISSING OUT! Go this year, seriously.
• Working with PIN Homeless ministry. We have groups making lunches, people serving, and donations every week to help aid this work. I love it.
• Our Children’s Ministry collected hundreds of pais of socks for the homeless.
• Collecting supplies & throwing a huge baby shower for the moms of CPC at our warehouse space! We discussed whether or not to give other churches the opportunity to do this and not do it in 2012. The CPC reps told us they LOVE what the ladies & church have done. It’s the best shower they have all year! You guys are fantastic!
• 88 kids in the special needs program and their siblings were given an amazing Christmas thanks to the gifts you gave. There are a lot of things we could be doing with our time, but giving back to the community is HUGE. I love that our church isn’t just about what happens on Sundays and in small groups, but we are actually OUT IN THE COMMUNITY.
• We saw the school lunch program happening and 100 kids have better food in Vietnam because of you. I was able to see this first hand, and let me tell you, there is no greater feeling than seeing the love of Jesus transcend in a practical way with people. Love it.
• Watching as 35 people made a decision to follow Jesus. This number is actually more, but since we don’t film every baptism, we don’t know an exact number. Anytime I get down, this is the thing that keeps me going. Every other week, and then some, people are coming to Jesus. And… those are just the salvation stories. There are dozens, even hundreds more who are making decisions every week in other ways.
• 7 Marriages that were on the brink of divorce decided to work it out. And they’re thriving! I cannot say enough how big it is that we value families and aid them in following Jesus. If you’re hurting alone, there’s no excuse. We’re here for you. We love you, please come talk to us. We are here to help.
• Saw 600+ people at our Christmas Eve/Eve Service. 3 years ago we did this and had 455 people. I was blown away then, and with all the craziness that God’s church at Forefront has seen… I was blown away again as we saw so many new faces of YOUR FRIENDS there. Remember, they want to come to church and are receptive to it. The one thing holding them back? YOU. Take a step and talk with them about God, church, your faith. You’ll be amazed at what God can do.
• The next day we went to over 58 different places and handed out thank gifts & goodies for people working on Christmas Eve. This is one of my favorite things we do every year. When we could be having a service about Jesus, for us, feeling cozy in a building, singing songs and enjoying ourselves… we went out and honored others. Because we didn’t feel right having a service for us while people are away form their homes & families working. The hospitals, naval bases, fire stations, police stations, grocery stores, McDonald house, and more were all so thankful. I love that you guys care more about others than yourselves.