“You have to perform at a consistently higher level than others. That’s the mark of a true professional.”
That quote is from Football Hall of Fame coach Joe Paterno. He is the winningest college head coach in history with over 409 wins (no other coach has reached 400). And when reading that quote back, he’s right. Leaders have to perform consistently at a higher level. They’re called to a greater level of accountability.
This is a lesson Coach Paterno is learning first hand at the moment. Under his leadership, he was made aware of alleged sexual abuse to a boy in a school shower by Assistant Coach, Jerry Sandusky. Both have been fired. The allegations have grown now to 40 counts of sexual abuse over 15 years. If these allegations are indeed true, it’s a tragedy on multiple levels. Any time a child is taken advantage of in any form, it’s uncalled for. As adults we’re to guide, direct, love, and protect children. Actions like these being noted go against those very convictions.
One of the things I’m floored by, is Paterno’s response:
“This is a tragedy,” Paterno said. “It is one of the great sorrows of my life. With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more.“
As a follower of Jesus, I’m commanded to do more.
When injustice is being done, stand up for the victim.
People are without food, feed them.
Kids getting hurt, help them.
When marriages are falling a part, help restore them.
Falling off the wagon, be a support.
Trapped by depression, comfort them.
Decisions count. Make them count in the moment.
Leaders get to experience the joys of leading, but have to make the tough calls when it counts. Mr. Paterno shows us it isn’t about hindsight, it’s about stepping up in the tough moments and doing what’s right instead of what’s loyal or popular. It’s tough. When we don’t take our role as seriously as we should and stand up in those moments, we’ll be left looking in the rearview reminiscing over our hindsight and what could have been.
It’s in a moment like this I pray that Mr. Paterno & Mr. Sandusky find healing, forgiveness, love, and grace. No matter how vicious and incomprehensible people’s action may or may not be, forgiveness is something we could all use a little bit more of. Please join me in praying for the boys, men, and families involved. So sad.
“The minute you think you’ve got it made, disaster is just around the corner.”
So true Joe P.
So true.
Here’s to praying we realize we’ll never have it remotely made.
Who has authority?
In today’s culture it’s completely relative.
Whatever works for you is good for you.
Under this line of thinking, it’s completely different for everyone.
If I don’t like that, it’s not true for me, right?
I was doing some reading in Relevant Magazine and came across this info:
28%.
With that, it means 72% of Christians do not believe the Bible is completely true, literal, or God’s inspired word for our guidance and understanding of God/faith. It breaks my heart and spurs me on to help change that. To strive to always place God at the center of Forefront and His Bible as the foundation of teaching/learning.
When you look at the numbers, what does it stir up inside of you?
The theme this year… Be present.
Something you need to hear.
In your family. marriage. work. kids. friendships.
Will you be so busy you miss it?
The texts that keep popping up.
The email that just arrived.
The social networking you just have to stalk.
The engaging with friends thru s screen, but not face to face.
Your presence is requested.
Dear You,
I know you grow weary each day.
While you’re emotionally drained, you still find time to get lost in the distractions this world offers.
It feels good, I know. For you it’s a way to drown out the chaos and begin to mentally unwind.
It blocks the craziness out.
While you’re blocking it out, unwinding, and decompressing. Your presence is void.
Your daughter wants to play, but is scared to ask.
Your son has questions about life, but knows he’ll get brushed aside.
Your spouse… well, it’s more like roommates than lovers these days.
Your presence is requested.
At work, you have that coworker that annoys you.
They just found out their wife was cheating on them.
They need an ear, but you’ve been too busy.
At church, you complain about the kids who always act up in class.
They just don’t get attention at home.
Even if it’s yelling at them, in their mind, at least someone noticed enough to care.
At the grocery store, the woman in front of you was taking too long.
You got frustrated because you had things to do.
“C’mon already!” you muttered under your breath.
You were too focused on your phone to realize she wasn’t able to pay for her groceries.
She needed you.
Your presence matters.
Your neighbors stay up late and things are really loud.
You just want to sleep.
Walking across the lawn in anger you bang on the door.
“We’re trying to sleep, keep it down will ya!?” you yell through the door.
They don’t answer. The yelling is deafening.
The reality… they’ve never known how to get along.
Marriage as they know it is collapsing.
They need help.
Your presence matters.
At the end of the day.
Put down the phone. You’re not that important.
Close the laptop. The work will be there later.
Cancel/downgrade cable. Over half the stuff isn’t worth watching anyway.
Be present…
at your kid’s school. Be a room parent, eat lunch, plan activities.
at home. Work is for work. Home is for family. Make the decision now.
in your marriage. Your spouse deserves your best, not your leftovers.
with Me. Live a life worthy of my name. Let’s talk & share every day.
Today is the 3 Year Anniversary of being the Lead Pastor of Forefront Church. I cannot think of a more fitting place to be doing ministry. God has placed our family in a place where you all are amazing, open with your flaws, and every day counting on the grace only God can give. It’s inspiring to serve alongside you. We’ve followed God through some challenges that looked impossible, and He has brought us through on the other side- greater and stronger than before. I love you guys.
October is Pastor Appreciation Month. I’m encouraged by it, because it’s a moment to reflect on how humbling it is to serve God full-time through vocational ministry. Unfortunately, the drop out rate in ministry is one of the highest among all occupations. It saddens me because that is a reality for the people I know, with only 3-4 people out of my entire graduating class still in ministry. If you go to a church, take a moment to thank the people who serve you 24-7 in the local church. If you go to Forefront, the best way to show appreciation is to honor the people I get the privilege to work with. They are amazing! Take some time to write a note to Dan, Becky, James, Justin, Barbara, and Lisa. Even if it’s simply to say “Thank you and you rock!”
Finally in the “Triple A’s”– I want to say I am in AWE of what God has on the horizon for Forefront! Seriously. It’s blowing my mind how God is working through this church. This week, I’ve written down some of the stories of what’s been happening. We’ll be posting them next week since our staff will be at Catalyst all week.
Side Note: Speaking of Catalyst, please pray for God to refresh, stregnthen and speak to the hearts of your staff here at Forefront. He always moves us while attending this conference, and having the church praying for us would be fantastic.
Carrie and I love you all so much. We’re thankful to be a family with you.
See you guys this Sunday!
I heard the phrase often growing up. My dad is a very sarcastic individual and I learned under his tutelage to yield it like a well trained swordsman. Verbal banter and joking abounded under our roof. It’s what got us through difficult times. Laughing broke the ice. When my dad retired after a 22+ year career in the Navy. He cried and was heartbroken (one of only three times I’ve seen the man cry). It was a side comment of my brother in an Applebees, “So, you spent two decades in the Navy learning to be a man and now you’re crying like a baby” that softened the moment. We all had a laugh. The tension was broken. It wasn’t that we didn’t take the day seriously. We all knew a large chapter of my dad’s life had closed. But, the laughter helped us move through it.
Sunday evening I had the honor of speaking for a large group of area churches. Hurricane Irene came through and shut down Virginia Beach, so most churches didn’t hold a.m. services. We gathered a plan together to combine efforts with Real Life Church to invite anyone in the 757 to come and worship.
It was great.
God was honored.
We enjoyed spending time with other people who want to figure out how to live like Jesus. Some people had a close relationship with Jesus. Others were virgins to the church, God, and this Jesus guy they had heard about once. It encourages me to always be in places where it isn’t just Christians. It shows me we’re meeting new people who need to experience God. It’s great.
After I got back home, my Facebook, Twitter & Phone had blown up about how much people enjoyed the evening. Some of of the comments were:
“We had no clue you were that funny!?”
“On the way home we talked and agreed, you rocked that sermon… and you’re so funny, who knew?”
“You were great. My oldest daughter asked if you were a comedian!”
“My mother-in-law laughed so hard she was crying. Great job.”
“I think I pulled a muscle in my neck laughing. LUV’D IT!!!!”
Then, I opened up my Facebook page today, to a private message from a fellow minister. It simply read:
“Saw all the updates about last night. Didn’t know you left ministry to be a comedian. Good luck with that.”
Ouch.
Let me first off say, we’ve talked and everything is copacetic. I wouldn’t share this if we hadn’t had the opportunity to talk it out “brotha to brotha.” (Look in the Bible for Matthew 18, this is huge for dealing with sin/confrontation). Second, there was a false dichotomy assumed in that message I found in my inbox.
That false dichotomy is this: “If you’re preaching the Bible, you cannot be funny.” or… “If you’re funny, you cannot be preaching the Bible.”
I grew up in pretty conservative churches where humor wasn’t used in large segments. To preach and use humor was to “water down the message” or “entertain people instead of challenge people.” The assumption is that you can only preach with limited humor and honor God. This is simply not true.
I would assert that laughter is one of the most successful ways to diffuse walls, barriers, and tension that people have about the church, God, faith, heaven, hell, and the story of love that God has for every person under the sun. Yes, the topics & truths we have are about people’s salvation and eternity. Oh… Hell, it’s not a joke. But, you preach a sermon on Hell, the air is going to be thick. You’ll be able to cut it with a knife. But, you can break the tension. It can be done in a way that doesn’t make Hell a cocktail joke, but brings people’s anxiety down to a place where they’re actually going to hear the love/grace/truth you’re teaching.
The guy who comes in with a Pantera shirt and thinks Hell is better discussed by ACDC, he’ll hear you better. The woman who just got beat by her husband and hasn’t told a soul why her abusive spouse doesn’t come to church- she’ll smile and chuckle for the first time in years, and she’ll hear you for the first time in months. The guy wrestling with porn addiction and he’s depressed thinking God doesn’t love him, he’ll begin to laugh and realize that was God bringing him joy again.
Some notes about humor & preaching:
1. Jesus Communicated in Ways People Could Relate To. He told stories, talked about farming/agriculture, used illustrations people connected with. Nothing brings people together like food and laughter. Now in a message, as a pastor, part of my task is to balance both (the message & teaching being the meat/meal they need, and the humor).
2. Humor Diffuses Tension. When my wife and I fight (yes, we fight), most fights end when someone breaks the cycle with a joke. Usually it’s one making fun of themselves. More often then not, it’s me making the joke. Because I was wrong, and I needed a break. We soon realize whatever we were arguing about wasn’t worth it. With speaking, when the topic is tense, people’s minds are wrapped up in defending themselves. Protecting their ideas, thoughts, and conclusions. Want to break down the walls? Use humor.
3. People Remember God’s Love Through Moments. Create Moments. Last night opened up with buffaloes dangling from dental floss in reference to my fear of heights, hurricanes with family is a glimpse of hell, earthquakes aren’t supposed to happen in VA, and my youngest daughter is a mobile piranha biting anything in sight. Yes, there was laughter. People were holding their sides in tears at times. It was quite a moment. But how did it tie together? Well…
4. Laughter To Life Change Is Tough, But It Pays Off. It is not easy to use humor to communicate hard things. It takes work. That’s why many communicators fail when trying to use humor. I opened up with a question, “Who in here likes to have control?” All those things I mentioned a second ago were things I wanted control in my life (heights, natural disasters, my little girls). But I don’t get to control life. I followed up with a quote from my dad, “If your life seems completely in control, you’re not really living.” Then we asserted from the Bible in James 5:10-11 that in trials, what we want is to have control, but God calls us to follow the examples of the saints before us (i.e. Job, a guy who finally let God do the talking), and live with God in control and practice patience. One of the greatest examples to illustrate this was the moment of the Israelites coming to the Red Sea with Moses in the Bible, Exodus 14. We walked through their fear, lack of faith, and desire to take control instead of being patient with God. I asked if they had totally given over control? The best way we surrender control is to give all of ourselves to God (communicated through video, it’s embedded at the end of this post). Then we sang a song, prayed, and waited.
37 emails, 9 face to face prayers, multiple conversations and quite a few back&forths via social networking…
- a woman is finding strength in a physically abusive realtionship
- a young lady is learning to forgive her rape attacker
- a young man is beginning the road to peace after a hurtful relationship
- two ladies renewed a commitment to be active in church & carpool together
- a man confided that he’s giving up pornography and getting help
- a man is asking about baptism, and is on the verge of surrender
- a family is certain God is good and they want to get more involved
- numerous people share, “Did you spy on me this week? I need to give up control!”
- An offering was collected for a family who lost an 11 yr old during the hurricane
- God was honored
- People laughed till it hurt
- The Bible was preached unapologetically
- I was a pastor (and a comedian)
- God was pleased with our worship
- Live were changed for the better with God’s love
So, if you’ve made it this far, you have a longer attention span than a gnat, and… you have a choice to make when you communicate with people. Will you embrace the use of humor in tearing down walls? People need the love and grace of Jesus. Our interaction with them could be the moment created where God’s Holy Spirit burdens their hearts to choose Christ over the world.
Note to Pastors/Ministers/Preachers, you have the most difficult job on the planet. The burden you carry is immense. What you have to stand up for and answer to at judgement is more than many will ever fathom. Please, for the love of all that is holy, learn to communicate in such a way that you engage people into God’s story of love. Don’t compromise the message. Stand strong. But, do so in such a way that you are with the people in their world. Jesus did.
This morning my wife lovingly confronted me in the bathroom.
“I read your post last night. Don’t you think people will get the wrong idea?”
“What post?” “The post about watching HLN & the interview with Jay Bakker.”
“No.” “So, you didn’t really say what you thought about it. It was kind of vague.”
“I’m pretty sure people know I am for God’s love, truth, & grace. I’ve preached on these kinds of topics before.”
It’s one of the things I love about Forefront. People know we love everyone and so does God. Liars. Gossipers. Tall. Short. Skinny. Fat. Angry. Happy. People who claim Jesus. People who hate him. Vegetarians. Carnivores. Homosexuals. Heterosexuals. Prostitutes. Pimps. Navy. Army. Marines. Homeless. Bitter. White. Black. Asian. European…. It doesn’t make a difference. We love people and we point them to Jesus. And Jesus loves us so much, that he can’t leave us the way He finds us. He wants to take seat inside our lives, clean the place up, and make us whole.
This was the post she was referring to,
But it got me thinking,
“In light of God, faith, love, grace, etc— What ideas & concepts of faith am I entertaining?”
There are so many ideas out there about God. I read a ton of them.
Some are things that many pastors refuse to read.
They say it’s because the teaching doesn’t match with their faith.
If that was the case, my author pool would be narrowed drastically.
Rob Bell. Jay Bakker. John Piper. C.S. Lewis. Lee Strobel.
I’ve disagreed with some stances from men like these, but I read their books.
Why?
Because I want to know what else is out there.
I always have a desire to hear another side of the coin. But I also need to proceed with caution.
This practice can be troubling for many. I would ask the question, “What are you entertaining?”
Some topics are clear and precise through the Bible.
Topics on faith, Jesus as the only means of salvation, loving God and our neighbors, drawing close to God and living a life of holiness, there is a heaven and a hell, we all have sinned and messed up, the Holy Spirit is our daily companion & help, etc.
While others are left up to the reader to decide if it’s something they should do and will this honor God or hurt God’s heart?
Should I drink?
What is a curse word? Who decides that?
Can I watch movies that are R rated and still be close to God?
Is a cigar/cigarette something I am allowed to do?
What music is wholesome and what draws me away from God?
Is it alright to be married and close to someone of the opposite sex?
Now, some of the things like this are difficult.
Jesus came to conquer our sin and we are freed by His love/grace.
It’s not a list of do’s and dont’s, but an examination of our heart condition.
Are we striving to love God more and serve God more?
I just ask you to consider,
“In your quest for God, his love, truth, and grace- what are you entertaining?”
Sometimes we want so badly to believe things about God, that we’ll search the world over to make it true in some way/shape/form. My prayer is as we search for God, we ask Him to reveal His love, grace, and truth- despite how badly we might want to put something on Him that isn’t in His character.
God is amazing, and every day I want to know Him more.
But, I never want to place my ideas & beliefs on God.
He is way bigger, smarter, stronger, and more knowledgable than me!
I want Him to teach me His ways and desires for my life.
“You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely… Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:2-4, 23-24
God finds offensive ways in me daily.
I’m so glad He hasn’t given up on me and leads my heart.
I just need to learn that my thinking cannot be placed on Him.
What am I entertaining?
Well–His love, grace and truth hasn’t changed.
So the person that always needs to change… is me.
It’s been 3+ years since this photo was taken by a reporter for the Virginian-Pilot.
The White Horse Pub brings back a whirlwind of memories.
Every Tuesday night for almost a year.
Arrive at 4:00ish, and roll out around 9-9:30pm.
All because… we were a church, in a bar.
Well, we were a church who held services in 3 different locations.
In a bar at Pembroke Mall on Tuesdays, and Sundays at Ocean Lakes High School and Cinema Cafe in Greenbrier.
Over 3 years later, and after a great deal of prayer, we are back to a single location (Ocean Lakes on Sundays).
So, what did you learn from doing multi-site and church in a bar?
Multi-site:
It’s extremely difficult. Take everything you’ve studied, read, and heard… then increase it by 45-50%
It stretches you, but in a good way. You begin think anew when it comes to first time visitors, volunteers, teams, etc. This helped me so much.
No matter how well you plan, problems will show themselves quickly. Our filming of the message was a love/hate relationship. Actually, the scheduling of speaking in general for three locations was just tough.
I learned to pour a lot of love into volunteers. You have to since you cannot be at every campus, every week. Volunteers are what make things like this happen!
You have to do multi-site out of growth, not to promote it. If you’re not busting at the seams where you are, & haven’t already exhausted every avenue of multiple services, and space- then don’t do multi-site. Because, if you aren’t growing rapidly now, adding another monster campus to the mix isn’t going to somehow make you’re church more attractive to people. The newness of it will, for a moment. But, it will fade quickly and so will their involvement with your church.
Multi-site teaches patience. I learned so much during the multi-site years. With the new technology and resources available, it’s enticing to swim in the multi-site waters. The patience comes when you have to learn all new systems, concepts, technology, and strategies to make it work for your situation.
Video teaching doesn’t work for everyone. It can work for some. It’s been done great all over the country by people. It just didn’t completely work for us. We had people who would come to the Cinema Cafe Campus, and then weeks later place themselves in the live setting at Ocean Lakes. They just preferred a live pastor. Personally, I love seeing someone live. I understand where they’re coming from.
Multi-site isn’t for everyone. As God’s church moves here at Forefront, would I be totally against it in the future? No. Would God have to confirm it with our elders and leadership without a shadow of doubt, that it was the only route for us to take? Absolutely. God has to be the center. As much as we want to impact our community, we know God’s work through Forefront cannot be hindered by us chasing a dream of ours instead of His. We always have felt that way in leading Forefront, and will continue to in the future.
Church In A Bar:
I loved it. The smell of beer and grease as the band would get into the music and people would bob their heads to songs that were about God and His love. It was such a cool thing to be a part of. Honestly, it felt like we were trailblazers (although many have done this very thing before). People were shocked that we would do such a thing in Va Beach. It revived many of us in leadership to know we were doing what God laid on our hearts.
Many church leaders are scared to try things. Mainly because of what other Christians would think. If you make decisions based on other Christians as opposed to what God is calling you to do, you’re damned from the start.
I learned to love and appreciate the speaking talents of Vince Antonucci. Also, while I’m not into the style of music (I like more hardcore/indie stuff), Joe Heilman knew how to move the room and connect with them. The chemistry between the service and people there was interesting. I had to stash those nuggets away and learn from them as I helped run the volunteer team behind the scenes.
“Shock and Awe” doesn’t win people to Jesus, it simply fills seats. The barrage of media attention and calls we received was almost entirely what we expected. Christians telling us we were going to Hell, people far from God packing the place out to have a beer and see what it was about. But, when the novelty wears off, it’s still church. There’s nothing really all that “cool” or “hip” about doing church in a bar/pub. We still addressed sin (even about being drunk or addicted), and discussed life past the confines of a bar stool and the daily grind.
Life change happens in relationships. We had people who came to know God and were baptized from our pub campus. Every single one of them happened because their was some type of involvement outside of the “weekly service.” Lunch. Hanging out after small group. An email. Phone call. Just simply attending a service (no matter where you have it), won’t change your life. The preaching of the gospel or “good news” is the starting point where the Holy Spirit moves people. It’s through that relational interaction that we see it go from a prompting to a life changing decision to accept Christ and experience as God turns us into a new creation. Essentially, raising us from the dead life we were existing in before Him.
No matter how hard you might try, good things end too. The White Horse Pub on Tuesday Nights was bitter sweet for me. It was amazing to watch people come to God and be baptized, but in another real sense, it ran it’s course. I took karate when I was 9, you know the free lessons people could win from Chuck Norris Karate Studios. Well, I kept at it for a little while after, but… it wasn’t too long before it was just done. And that was alright. It had it’s time. And… the pub campus had it’s place. It reached people. It put us in a place to love others who many Christians would never find themselves in contact with. I mean seriously, how many churches are having baby showers for pregnant bar-tending, strippers? God put us there to love on her, the owner, the bar tenders and wait staff. It was God’s time to shine. He worked magnificently. It was amazing to watch.
Having service in a place that has temptation, showed people’s struggles. When there’s plenty of brew flowing, things happen. We had to tell volunteers that they couldn’t be a part of the team there because they struggled with alcohol addiction. Some of them even left the church entirely. It was painful. As a team, we had to minister to them and look out for them. It taught us how to be more aware and present when it came to seeing people’s needs and struggles. We had to hold people accountable. People don’t always like it. Crap, sometimes they HATE it. But, just as we’re called to love everyone, we are told to hold our brothers and sisters in Jesus accountable. That’s tough. No way of getting around it. But, it has to been done in love. Even then, it doesn’t always end well.
Maybe it was less about the service, and more about what God was trying to teach his people. People came to God, we ruffled some conservative feathers (not on purpose), and God was honored. But, looking back, I think Forefront learned a whole lot more than the community did. How we worship God matters. People, above all programs, ideas, and things, matter. Everything we do must first stem from His plan, and no matter what people might think, we must follow Him.
It was an exciting time then, and it’s an exciting time now.
Every week people are getting baptized and Heaven is celebrating.
God has some very tough, but amazing things on the horizon for His church at Forefront.
We’ve overcome odds that were completely stacked against us.
Why?
Because God is for us. His work doesn’t end.
It may take on different forms (i.e. Vietnam, Mexico, Haiti, Joplin, P.I.N., Crisis Pregnancy Center, etc).
But, His work in you, me, and our community is far from finished.
So thankful and humbled to be where I am.
Thank you for enduring the journey, God has some great things in store.
“Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own.”
H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“Do all the good you can, By all the means you can, In all the ways you can, In all the places you can, At all the times you can, To all the people you can, As long as ever you can.”
