We pray together every night baby.
I always end with, “God, thank you for letting me be Chloe’s daddy. Amen.”
With every beat of my heart, I mean it. You’re a gift.
But tonight, you broke down your big ol’ daddy to a puddle of emotion.
As we opened our eyes you looked at me.
I drown in those baby blues every single time you bat your lashes.
You’ve got me whooped.
You’re mommy and sissy have the same eyes.
I don’t stand a chance.
As you gazed into my face, you looked intently as you whispered-
“I’m glad I get to be your Chloe. You’re the best daddy God made for me.”
I just wrestled to not cry when you said the words.
I know when I cry you get worried that I’m hurt.
I tucked you in and laid you down to bed.
As I finally laid down to rest and waited for mommy to fall asleep, I lost it.
Because even though you believe I’m the best daddy… I’m gonna make mistakes.
Wait, I’ve made mistakes already, ugh.
I ignore you while I play with my phone.
When you want to color, I blow you off because the news is on.
As I’m going over my sermon, you always want to sit on my lap.
I focus on church stuff, when I instead should wrestle & have a dance party.
I don’t want to miss another dance party with you.
I want to be an example for you.
I want to show you how to be loved.
I want to show you how much Jesus loves you.
I pray you see it through all my flaws and screw ups.
So, when those boys start trying to see more than your baby blues…
Tell ‘em to slow their roll.
Because you know a thing or two about what real love looks like.
And even though I make mistakes.
I love you little pookie.
And one day you’re gonna hear all the silly stories about you in sermons.
The embarrassing photos on Facebook & Twitter.
And you’re gonna read these posts I’ve written to you.
And the letters I’ve been saving for you each year on your birthday.
When you get old enough to read all this- I pray you know,
That while you feel like you’re the one getting the good end of the deal-
I’m the one who feels truly blessed to be a part of your life.
Love, Daddy
I had just dropped off my girls at school. It’s my day off.
All I was thinking was, “My bed is waiting! Ahhhhhhhh!”
I turned the corner, and…
Traffic. At. A. Stand. Still. Ugh. Don’t these people know my day off is freakin’ important?!
Then I saw it.
A broken down car with the lights blinking.
People flying by her. Not stopping to help.
Honestly, I debated it in my head.
“Help this person out, or maybe someone else will.” “Wait, I am not that guy. Quit being a selfish bastard jerk.” (my inner dialogue censors itself sometimes)
So, I pulled around. Ran out and asked her to steer her car into the church nearby.
“Aw honey child! Bless your heart. All these people keep driving by. You’re an angel sent by God.”
Her wrinkles across her face read like a novel.
She’d been through some things in life. You could tell it from simply a glance.
Too bad nobody seemed to care enough to stop & help. They were missing an interaction beyond words.
During that time, exactly 41 cars drove past me pushing in the rain.
More drove by before I got out to help.
She thanked me, but I did it because it’s what I’m supposed to do. “Baby, you’re so sweet. I was praying God would send an angel. I just didn’t know he’d send one with colorful tattoos and those lovely big earrings. You’re precious.”
(Insert awkward moment where I’m dumbfounded as to what to say)
“Ma’am, my dad always taught me to love people, and so that’s what I try and do.”
“You mean both dad’s right? Child you must know Jesus if you’ll get out in the rain for this old lady.”
“Well, ma’am, I’m actually a pastor.”
“Whew, looking like that?! Lord bless you. We need more ministers who don’t care about fancy suits. Bless your heart.”
What just happend?!
No clue this interaction was going to go on like this.
Norma and I talked in the rain for about 15-20 minutes until her son came and picked her up.
My heart (while torn at first), decided to do what’s right instead of being selfish.
I came home, laid down for a bit, and woke up to this Facebook message:
When you want to say no – quit being selfish.
When you’ve got some where to be – it can wait.
When you think the world revolves around you – it doesn’t.
When you think someone else will help – you are the someone.
When you think no one is watching – they are. intently.
When you help someone thinking they’ll learn a lesson in love – you’re the one who gets schooled in love.
Norma, you’re a saint. You rocked my world with God’s love/truth today.
I’m glad your car was broke down so God could use you to break me down in the process.
Over the past few weeks there has been a flurry of people posting photos like these, or catchy little meme photos with the saying,
“Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.”
In junior high I stole things.
In the third grade a girl touched me & I her. It was in a bad way, and we knew it.
In ’89 I lied to my parents about getting beat up & threw my bike in a ditch so I could get a new one.
In high school I used girls & tossed them aside like Post-it Notes.
In college I broke the rules because I hated the system.
In my early years of ministry I struggled with porn.
In my adult years I entertained my ego and gave in to pride.
In my life, I’ve…
hurt people.
let down my wife.
been absent when my girls needed me.
lied.
stolen.
abused.
chosen addiction.
stood before a judge and deserved a penalty.
Never regret anything?
When faced with a question, I wonder what God has to say about it?
Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness. When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 6:19-23
Shame and regret are some of the very emotions and heart conditions that lead my heart to repentance. My heart feeling heavy from the sin I’ve committed brings me to a place where I realize my need for forgiveness, redemption, God’s grace, etc. Adam & Eve were ashamed after eating the apple, Jonah was ashamed after running from God, the woman caught in adultery was ashamed in front of Jesus, and the Bible paints the disciples shame and regret numerous times as they fall short and let God down.
When I think about my past, and the stupidity I knowingly walked into on so many occasions… did it make me smile or happy? Absolutely. Sin is fun, and if you don’t think it is- you’re not doing it right. Satan doesn’t tempt us into something we wouldn’t enjoy. He entices us with things we’d LOVE to grab at. But, when I think about these things, it breaks my heart. The people I injured. The hearts I broke. The friends I destroyed. Never regret anything?
I’m growing into the man God is working on me to be with each stride and day that goes by. As I look forward, I love what I see. As I look back, I’m saddened by my past. While I’ve learned from it, there are some things I would love to go back and change. Knowing what and WHO I know now…
Shame and regret can bring us to a place where our hearts are ready to experience true love, grace, and redemption.
I loved our Christmas Eve/Eve Service. It was a great way to wrap up 2011. The year had some amazing things take place…
Sending a team to Joplin to help with the clean-up relief. So pumped we were able to be a part of that.
Packing an 18 wheeler with supplies and sending it down to Alabama for hurricane relief. The news came out a did a story, it was awesome to see something on the news that positive. You guys rock!
Two teams to Vietnam to finish the water system for 600+ people to have clean water and build dorms for kids who need a place to sleep. Our impact there over the last few years has transformed that village. This year is going to be even better!
17 people to Mexico to build homes for families in need. That valley is forever changed with the love our high school ministry has shared there. If you have time off during the summer and haven’t gone yet, you are TOTALLY MISSING OUT! Go this year, seriously.
Working with PIN Homeless ministry. We have groups making lunches, people serving, and donations every week to help aid this work. I love it.
Our Children’s Ministry collected hundreds of pais of socks for the homeless.
Collecting supplies & throwing a huge baby shower for the moms of CPC at our warehouse space! We discussed whether or not to give other churches the opportunity to do this and not do it in 2012. The CPC reps told us they LOVE what the ladies & church have done. It’s the best shower they have all year! You guys are fantastic!
88 kids in the special needs program and their siblings were given an amazing Christmas thanks to the gifts you gave. There are a lot of things we could be doing with our time, but giving back to the community is HUGE. I love that our church isn’t just about what happens on Sundays and in small groups, but we are actually OUT IN THE COMMUNITY.
We saw the school lunch program happening and 100 kids have better food in Vietnam because of you. I was able to see this first hand, and let me tell you, there is no greater feeling than seeing the love of Jesus transcend in a practical way with people. Love it.
Watching as 35 people made a decision to follow Jesus. This number is actually more, but since we don’t film every baptism, we don’t know an exact number. Anytime I get down, this is the thing that keeps me going. Every other week, and then some, people are coming to Jesus. And… those are just the salvation stories. There are dozens, even hundreds more who are making decisions every week in other ways.
7 Marriages that were on the brink of divorce decided to work it out. And they’re thriving! I cannot say enough how big it is that we value families and aid them in following Jesus. If you’re hurting alone, there’s no excuse. We’re here for you. We love you, please come talk to us. We are here to help.
Saw 600+ people at our Christmas Eve/Eve Service. 3 years ago we did this and had 455 people. I was blown away then, and with all the craziness that God’s church at Forefront has seen… I was blown away again as we saw so many new faces of YOUR FRIENDS there. Remember, they want to come to church and are receptive to it. The one thing holding them back? YOU. Take a step and talk with them about God, church, your faith. You’ll be amazed at what God can do.
The next day we went to over 58 different places and handed out thank gifts & goodies for people working on Christmas Eve. This is one of my favorite things we do every year. When we could be having a service about Jesus, for us, feeling cozy in a building, singing songs and enjoying ourselves… we went out and honored others. Because we didn’t feel right having a service for us while people are away form their homes & families working. The hospitals, naval bases, fire stations, police stations, grocery stores, McDonald house, and more were all so thankful. I love that you guys care more about others than yourselves.
When the dust settled at the end of 2011, I could honestly say, “God, thank you.” For over three years I’ve had the privilege of being your pastor. I’ve laughed, cried, been hurt, loved, overcome battles, celebrated victories, and all during the process juggled being a husband and a new dad to two beautiful girls in the last few years. It’s been a roller coaster of emotion. I’d love to describe for you what it’s like being a pastor, but words cannot articulate the journey God has sent not only myself on, but our entire family. With everything that comes with this role, we wouldn’t trade it for the world. We feel so blessed being here at Forefront. You all encourage us to be closer to God, and my prayer is that my family can do the same for you and your family as well.
Looking forward to 2012. God has some amazing things in store.
I was not expecting this question in my inbox a few weeks ago.
Opened up my Gmail, and sure enough- there it was:
“Can I celebrate halloween & love Jesus too?”
Let me say first, this is something you have to decide as a family. There are plenty of people who love God and completely disagree on this issue. But, before I give you my thoughts, let’s just look at a couple things on Halloween…
Halloween, has roots, as a prominent witchcraft holiday.
Witchcraft and Wicca are real religions people follow.
There are a handful of holidays celebrated in these religions, Halloween is the most widely celebrated.
The history goes back to a celebration known as Samhain. This festival marked the end of a season. The shift of this to incorporating the dead happened rapidly in pagan culture. Rituals like pumpkins to scare off spirits or remember the dead and dressing up to not be noticed by the dead walking among us are just a couple of those rituals that were brought into common practice.
The main point of Samhain was to find protection from the evil spirits of the dead roaming the earth.
Halloween, at it’s core- celebrates death (i.e. ghosts, skeletons, graveyards, ghouls, zombies, etc)
That isn’t a definitive list, but a glimpse into some of the Halloween highlights. So, back to the question, “Can I celebrate Halloween & love Jesus too?”I would say yes, and thank you for asking this question. It made us think a bit more as a family before we jumped into this. Here is where we are at:
As Christians, first off- Carrie and I need to recognize that Halloween has roots in a dark, anti-Christian realm that looks to glorify death. The Bible explains that death is the enemy. It wasn’t something God wanted for us. So, to treat it lightly is a misnomer and we need to understand where it’s roots are found.
Second, we need to be aware that just because halloween has it’s roots in this, it does not mean the modern “candy and parties” are celebrating Satan. This practice has morphed into something much different for a majority of society. Just like the use of a piano in a church service was viewed as “unholy” simply because it got it’s start in saloons. Now it’s widely accepted as an instrument to bring attention to God in a good way. Things can be redeemed or rejected. Your family needs to choose where that line is concerning the celebration of Halloween.
Third, we need to be smart in how we move forward with our family in light of Halloween and it’s roots. Here are some boundaries we’ve set as a family to help guide our time during Halloween:
You can dress up, just not as anything dead or evil.
Halloween parties are fair game. If the theme of the party is celebrating death, we’ll find a different one to go to.
We can go trick or treating. Candy is great! But, we talk about the “trick” side of the trick or treating. We let our girls know we don’t do mean things to people. This is a night for us to meet our neighbors and have fun.
As our kids get older, we will talk about Halloween’s history. We want them to know so they can begin to understand and make choices about it. It is serious, and our goal is for them to be informed.
If the girls don’t like our stance on something Halloween related, we will hear their side, discuss it, and consider their point of view. As they get older, we want to be open to possibly being wrong. If they can sell us on a side we haven’t considered, we are open to discussion. But Mom & Dad have the final say.
Ultimately, we want to honor God with our lives as a family. If something surrounding Halloween draws that into question, we will always side with honoring God.
We choose to let our girls be a part of the Halloween celebration, but with boundaries. It’s part of parenting for us. We could ban them from Halloween. We could just let them trick or treat and never have these talks. But, we want an open dialogue to talk about faith, love, grace, and our surrounding world. It’s a tough spot. But we believe as a family we can love Jesus and celebrate Halloween within these boundaries. We don’t judge people who think otherwise. It’s an area where it’s alright to agree to disagree. We have a freedom in Jesus to make these choices.
I suggest sitting down as a family and talking it out. Looking at the history and making a decision. For the Bedell’s, we’ve researched and talked, and we’ve chosen to celebrate. You may come to a different conclusion. And that’s okay.
A skin issue.
I actually keep my beard most of the time because of it now.
The skin damage is getting progressively worse as I get older.
I shaved for this week’s sermon, to fit the story I’m telling.
Before I shaved, my prayer was, “God, don’t let it be worse. Please let it have healed.”
Nope. No healing. It was worse. A lot worse.
I asked my wife,
“Would be awkward to wear my shirt up over my face in public?”
She rolled her eyes at me.
I deserved that response.
You see, in the 3 years where it’s become an issue, I’ve never gone to the Dr.
I’ve researched it on the web.
At home remedies.
Even tried different make-up. Yeah… makeup.
I actually used a tiny bit the last few days because how bad it was.
Yes fellas, during Monday Night Football at Bdub’s… I had makeup on. *sigh* Embarrassed. Self-conscious. Ashamed.
The glaring issue my wife had with me was, I never sought help.
I did everything I could, including growing a beard to cover it up.
The beard became a beacon for a deeper underlying issue.
My skin issue wasn’t being addressed.
The thing that hurts the most- I don’t just have a skin issue.
I have lots of issues. The biggest one being a sin issue.
I sin. Everyday.
If you were to be honest with yourself, you have them too.
We try to cover them up.
Research for some kind of “quick fix” hoping to dismiss it.
Praying it will go away.
“If I just do this, and this, and this- I can handle it on my own.” NEWS FLASH: No you can’t.
“Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed, lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:12-14
Can you stand against your sin issue alone? No, you will fall.
Can God’s power & spirit help you in your sin issue? Absolutely.
When should you surrender to God’s Spirit so he can work on your heart? Right now.
I am so thankful God weighed on me, broke my pride, and began this work in my life.
Am I perfect? No.
Will I make mistakes? Yes.
Am I forgiven & experiencing the grace & love of God? I firmly believe it.
No more hiding the skin sin issue.
Come out of the darkness, and let God do the work only He can do.
Going over my message for Sunday.
We’re in our series, “Window Pain.”
Blown away by the response already. 5 people baptized this week.
2 of the people chose Sept. 11th to be baptized. “Changing the day in a good way.”
This week we’re address the Pain of Death.
As I’ve been preparing for Sunday, here is a snippet of my message I’ve read over and over at my desk today…
“The only God I can believe in is one who knows firsthand what it’s like to be a helpless American aboard a plane turned missile, penetrating a building- killing thousands. Who knows what it’s like to be a helpless mother as your child is devoured by the jaws of death. Who intimately knows the pain a spouse feels as they’re smacked in the face with the untimely news that their best friend is no longer with them.
And that is exactly the kind of God Christianity proclaims.“
While this Sunday will be tough, I am looking forward to how He can help us with the pain we’ve encountered individually and as a whole. See you Sunday!
I heard the phrase often growing up. My dad is a very sarcastic individual and I learned under his tutelage to yield it like a well trained swordsman. Verbal banter and joking abounded under our roof. It’s what got us through difficult times. Laughing broke the ice. When my dad retired after a 22+ year career in the Navy. He cried and was heartbroken (one of only three times I’ve seen the man cry). It was a side comment of my brother in an Applebees, “So, you spent two decades in the Navy learning to be a man and now you’re crying like a baby” that softened the moment. We all had a laugh. The tension was broken. It wasn’t that we didn’t take the day seriously. We all knew a large chapter of my dad’s life had closed. But, the laughter helped us move through it.
Sunday evening I had the honor of speaking for a large group of area churches. Hurricane Irene came through and shut down Virginia Beach, so most churches didn’t hold a.m. services. We gathered a plan together to combine efforts with Real Life Church to invite anyone in the 757 to come and worship.
It was great.
God was honored.
We enjoyed spending time with other people who want to figure out how to live like Jesus. Some people had a close relationship with Jesus. Others were virgins to the church, God, and this Jesus guy they had heard about once. It encourages me to always be in places where it isn’t just Christians. It shows me we’re meeting new people who need to experience God. It’s great.
After I got back home, my Facebook, Twitter & Phone had blown up about how much people enjoyed the evening. Some of of the comments were:
“We had no clue you were that funny!?”
“On the way home we talked and agreed, you rocked that sermon… and you’re so funny, who knew?”
“You were great. My oldest daughter asked if you were a comedian!”
“My mother-in-law laughed so hard she was crying. Great job.”
“I think I pulled a muscle in my neck laughing. LUV’D IT!!!!”
Then, I opened up my Facebook page today, to a private message from a fellow minister. It simply read:
“Saw all the updates about last night. Didn’t know you left ministry to be a comedian. Good luck with that.”
Ouch.
Let me first off say, we’ve talked and everything is copacetic. I wouldn’t share this if we hadn’t had the opportunity to talk it out “brotha to brotha.” (Look in the Bible for Matthew 18, this is huge for dealing with sin/confrontation). Second, there was a false dichotomy assumed in that message I found in my inbox.
That false dichotomy is this: “If you’re preaching the Bible, you cannot be funny.” or… “If you’re funny, you cannot be preaching the Bible.”
I grew up in pretty conservative churches where humor wasn’t used in large segments. To preach and use humor was to “water down the message” or “entertain people instead of challenge people.” The assumption is that you can only preach with limited humor and honor God. This is simply not true.
I would assert that laughter is one of the most successful ways to diffuse walls, barriers, and tension that people have about the church, God, faith, heaven, hell, and the story of love that God has for every person under the sun. Yes, the topics & truths we have are about people’s salvation and eternity. Oh… Hell, it’s not a joke. But, you preach a sermon on Hell, the air is going to be thick. You’ll be able to cut it with a knife. But, you can break the tension. It can be done in a way that doesn’t make Hell a cocktail joke, but brings people’s anxiety down to a place where they’re actually going to hear the love/grace/truth you’re teaching.
The guy who comes in with a Pantera shirt and thinks Hell is better discussed by ACDC, he’ll hear you better. The woman who just got beat by her husband and hasn’t told a soul why her abusive spouse doesn’t come to church- she’ll smile and chuckle for the first time in years, and she’ll hear you for the first time in months. The guy wrestling with porn addiction and he’s depressed thinking God doesn’t love him, he’ll begin to laugh and realize that was God bringing him joy again.
Some notes about humor & preaching:
1. Jesus Communicated in Ways People Could Relate To. He told stories, talked about farming/agriculture, used illustrations people connected with. Nothing brings people together like food and laughter. Now in a message, as a pastor, part of my task is to balance both (the message & teaching being the meat/meal they need, and the humor).
2. Humor Diffuses Tension. When my wife and I fight (yes, we fight), most fights end when someone breaks the cycle with a joke. Usually it’s one making fun of themselves. More often then not, it’s me making the joke. Because I was wrong, and I needed a break. We soon realize whatever we were arguing about wasn’t worth it. With speaking, when the topic is tense, people’s minds are wrapped up in defending themselves. Protecting their ideas, thoughts, and conclusions. Want to break down the walls? Use humor.
3. People Remember God’s Love Through Moments. Create Moments. Last night opened up with buffaloes dangling from dental floss in reference to my fear of heights, hurricanes with family is a glimpse of hell, earthquakes aren’t supposed to happen in VA, and my youngest daughter is a mobile piranha biting anything in sight. Yes, there was laughter. People were holding their sides in tears at times. It was quite a moment. But how did it tie together? Well…
4. Laughter To Life Change Is Tough, But It Pays Off. It is not easy to use humor to communicate hard things. It takes work. That’s why many communicators fail when trying to use humor. I opened up with a question, “Who in here likes to have control?” All those things I mentioned a second ago were things I wanted control in my life (heights, natural disasters, my little girls). But I don’t get to control life. I followed up with a quote from my dad, “If your life seems completely in control, you’re not really living.” Then we asserted from the Bible in James 5:10-11 that in trials, what we want is to have control, but God calls us to follow the examples of the saints before us (i.e. Job, a guy who finally let God do the talking), and live with God in control and practice patience. One of the greatest examples to illustrate this was the moment of the Israelites coming to the Red Sea with Moses in the Bible, Exodus 14. We walked through their fear, lack of faith, and desire to take control instead of being patient with God. I asked if they had totally given over control? The best way we surrender control is to give all of ourselves to God (communicated through video, it’s embedded at the end of this post). Then we sang a song, prayed, and waited.
37 emails, 9 face to face prayers, multiple conversations and quite a few back&forths via social networking…
- a woman is finding strength in a physically abusive realtionship
- a young lady is learning to forgive her rape attacker
- a young man is beginning the road to peace after a hurtful relationship
- two ladies renewed a commitment to be active in church & carpool together
- a man confided that he’s giving up pornography and getting help
- a man is asking about baptism, and is on the verge of surrender
- a family is certain God is good and they want to get more involved
- numerous people share, “Did you spy on me this week? I need to give up control!”
- An offering was collected for a family who lost an 11 yr old during the hurricane
- God was honored
- People laughed till it hurt
- The Bible was preached unapologetically
- I was a pastor (and a comedian)
- God was pleased with our worship
- Live were changed for the better with God’s love
So, if you’ve made it this far, you have a longer attention span than a gnat, and… you have a choice to make when you communicate with people. Will you embrace the use of humor in tearing down walls? People need the love and grace of Jesus. Our interaction with them could be the moment created where God’s Holy Spirit burdens their hearts to choose Christ over the world.
Note to Pastors/Ministers/Preachers, you have the most difficult job on the planet. The burden you carry is immense. What you have to stand up for and answer to at judgement is more than many will ever fathom. Please, for the love of all that is holy, learn to communicate in such a way that you engage people into God’s story of love. Don’t compromise the message. Stand strong. But, do so in such a way that you are with the people in their world. Jesus did.
On July 16th, I abandoned Twitter, Facebook, Email, etc.
It’s honestly driving me bonkers not being connected.
I can’t see comments, likes, tweets, RT, or anything.
I’ll begin posting again after I preach on Sunday, August 14th.
I’m writing this from a simple text editor & forwarding it to my blog.
The world could be ending around me.
I wouldn’t have a clue.
But, being on sabbatical has so far been refreshing, challenging, and stretching me beyond anything I would have ever imagined.
Here’s a unedited breakdown of some things I’m processing…
Been doing a ton of reading (mainly Genesis & Exodus).
Go read Genesis Chapters 1-12, mind blowing happenings in there.
Read Erasing Hell and Love Wins again. Eternity is HUGE.
So pastors attract who they are… You know what, that is encouraging- because every week people are getting baptized, the church is growing, and people are stepping up. It reminds me that we’re all built for more. Let’s keep this moving in God’s name.
I’ve cried a lot.
God is helping me heal from a heavy couple of years. Thank you Jesus for your promises.
God sorry for not having the &@%#! (self edit, I’m trying *wink*) stones to do some of the things I should have. That stops here.
Your letters mean more than you know. Over 100 letters or emails sent to our family. Your encouragement challenges me. I plan on returning the encouragement and challenge for you all when I return.
Status quo is for pansies. I will not ever play it safe.
I’ve cried some more. Yep, I’m a mess.
Self proclaiming Christians (<–term used loosely) who critique God’s Church from afar carry no authority. Anybody can play Monday Morning Quarterback from the side lines. Try getting in the game. Being hurt or damaged by the church is no excuse. We’re not promised an easy road, so let’s work together. (God’s reminding me of this more and more)
Everyone should experience a week away from everyone in life. Just a pen, Bible, paper, and quiet.
Reading the Bible for teaching & encouragement is way more fun than reading it for sermon preparation.
I’ve found joy again in things I was getting tired with.
That is just plain refreshing. Holy smokes! Love it!
God wants you to be a part of His church and you sleep in, play golf, make excuses for why you cannot go. Something big is gonna hit the fan and then you’ll find yourself with the church.
Don’t wait until it hits the fan.
God has plans for Forefront church that scare me to death (but my faith is growing in it).
You. Yes, you. I’ve been praying for you.
Praying for your family (single or not).
Praying for your commitment to God’s church.
Praying for your relationship with the Creator of the Universe.
He’s been weighing on you lately… right. You know He has.
God’s been challenging you and you’re running from it.
Stop. Running. Scared.
Galatians 6:9 is your promise (and mine apparently too, I’ll explain more August 14th)
You were built to worship God, love Him, love others, and do good.
Bring your friends, co-workers, and loved ones Aug 14th to Forefront.
God’s been building up something in me, but I’m not writing it until a couple days before.
I don’t want to taint what He’s trying to say to all of us (including me).
My wife is more special to me than she’ll ever realize. I poorly express with words and actions how she makes me a better man before God. Wow, I need to get together with other guys just to talk about how we can love our wives better. She says I do good at this, but she deserves more (calling out for accountability, hint hint).
Turn. Off. Your. Cellphone.
Oh, and remember to Turn. Off. Your. Cellphone.
I’ve been told I have over 165+ emails waiting for me. Ha. I still have two more weeks.
Here’s a thought… think to yourself, would I write this down, fold it up, lick a stamp, place it in a mailbox and wait for a response? If not, don’t type it out and press send.
I’ve written 45 thank you letters to people who have impacted my life over the last 8 months. Man, the art of writing needs to be a staple in your life. Go write a letter.
What if we didn’t do Sunday morning services at all like we do now? Just a thought.
That last one scared a bunch of you.
Good. *wink*
If you haven’t already, verbally or via written letter- thank Dan Pollard, James Davis, Lisa Gollihur, Becky Bruner, Justin Allen and Barbara Austin for sacrificing their lives for you and your family. Seriously. They could all be paid double they make somewhere else. but they serve God and you daily. They are worthy of thanks for their service to God.
Staff, I love you guys (and gals).
My story is changing drastically as I stay away with God during this sabbatical.
Tony Bates’ funeral really wrecked me a couple weeks ago. I keep replaying the Dr. coming in and sharing the news with Cori. The air could have been cut with a knife. Bates family, your strength and conviction to God is inspiring.
Forefronters. Your life in Christ means the world to me. Your successes bring me joy, your failures burden me to help, your sorrows weigh heavy in my prayers, when you aren’t there on Sundays- I wonder if you’re alright. When I hear you’re missing Gel, I wonder what is wrong. When you fall off the map, my Spirit aches that you won’t keep in touch. You’re life is intertwined with mine. Remember, together we are all “one body, one church.”
Chloe and Roxy, your Daddy loves you. You girls miss out on some things because Daddy is called away from time to time. Every morning I wake up, I pray, “Let me love your mommy the way Jesus loves us, let me love you both in a way that teaches you how a man should love you, and let’s all have a new adventure every day as God guides us. Amen.”
Hold me accountable to that.
This week was the first time I had ever kayaked before. Loved it. I would love to own one. It could become a new hobby.
While I was camping alone, the people at the site next to me told war stories, childhood tales, and thought about the days of old, loudly- until the wee hours of the morning. It was endearing for a moment. It also made me tear up a bit. I don’t want to talk about the past so much that I miss the present and don’t dream about the future.
This was my nightly sunset during the week of camping. God said a lot during this moment each evening.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. So many things running through my head, but one thing is for sure- God is moving through me and I’m honored to be a servant of the King.
Jason
P.S. This will forward to Twitter and Facebook by default, but I won’t be able to read anything until August 14th, so I’ll get to your responses then.
It’s been 3+ years since this photo was taken by a reporter for the Virginian-Pilot.
The White Horse Pub brings back a whirlwind of memories.
Every Tuesday night for almost a year.
Arrive at 4:00ish, and roll out around 9-9:30pm.
All because… we were a church, in a bar.
Well, we were a church who held services in 3 different locations.
In a bar at Pembroke Mall on Tuesdays, and Sundays at Ocean Lakes High School and Cinema Cafe in Greenbrier.
Over 3 years later, and after a great deal of prayer, we are back to a single location (Ocean Lakes on Sundays).
So, what did you learn from doing multi-site and church in a bar?
Multi-site:
It’s extremely difficult. Take everything you’ve studied, read, and heard… then increase it by 45-50%
It stretches you, but in a good way. You begin think anew when it comes to first time visitors, volunteers, teams, etc. This helped me so much.
No matter how well you plan, problems will show themselves quickly. Our filming of the message was a love/hate relationship. Actually, the scheduling of speaking in general for three locations was just tough.
I learned to pour a lot of love into volunteers. You have to since you cannot be at every campus, every week. Volunteers are what make things like this happen!
You have to do multi-site out of growth, not to promote it. If you’re not busting at the seams where you are, & haven’t already exhausted every avenue of multiple services, and space- then don’t do multi-site. Because, if you aren’t growing rapidly now, adding another monster campus to the mix isn’t going to somehow make you’re church more attractive to people. The newness of it will, for a moment. But, it will fade quickly and so will their involvement with your church.
Multi-site teaches patience. I learned so much during the multi-site years. With the new technology and resources available, it’s enticing to swim in the multi-site waters. The patience comes when you have to learn all new systems, concepts, technology, and strategies to make it work for your situation.
Video teaching doesn’t work for everyone. It can work for some. It’s been done great all over the country by people. It just didn’t completely work for us. We had people who would come to the Cinema Cafe Campus, and then weeks later place themselves in the live setting at Ocean Lakes. They just preferred a live pastor. Personally, I love seeing someone live. I understand where they’re coming from.
Multi-site isn’t for everyone. As God’s church moves here at Forefront, would I be totally against it in the future? No. Would God have to confirm it with our elders and leadership without a shadow of doubt, that it was the only route for us to take? Absolutely. God has to be the center. As much as we want to impact our community, we know God’s work through Forefront cannot be hindered by us chasing a dream of ours instead of His. We always have felt that way in leading Forefront, and will continue to in the future.
Church In A Bar:
I loved it. The smell of beer and grease as the band would get into the music and people would bob their heads to songs that were about God and His love. It was such a cool thing to be a part of. Honestly, it felt like we were trailblazers (although many have done this very thing before). People were shocked that we would do such a thing in Va Beach. It revived many of us in leadership to know we were doing what God laid on our hearts.
Many church leaders are scared to try things. Mainly because of what other Christians would think. If you make decisions based on other Christians as opposed to what God is calling you to do, you’re damned from the start.
I learned to love and appreciate the speaking talents of Vince Antonucci. Also, while I’m not into the style of music (I like more hardcore/indie stuff), Joe Heilman knew how to move the room and connect with them. The chemistry between the service and people there was interesting. I had to stash those nuggets away and learn from them as I helped run the volunteer team behind the scenes.
“Shock and Awe” doesn’t win people to Jesus, it simply fills seats. The barrage of media attention and calls we received was almost entirely what we expected. Christians telling us we were going to Hell, people far from God packing the place out to have a beer and see what it was about. But, when the novelty wears off, it’s still church. There’s nothing really all that “cool” or “hip” about doing church in a bar/pub. We still addressed sin (even about being drunk or addicted), and discussed life past the confines of a bar stool and the daily grind.
Life change happens in relationships. We had people who came to know God and were baptized from our pub campus. Every single one of them happened because their was some type of involvement outside of the “weekly service.” Lunch. Hanging out after small group. An email. Phone call. Just simply attending a service (no matter where you have it), won’t change your life. The preaching of the gospel or “good news” is the starting point where the Holy Spirit moves people. It’s through that relational interaction that we see it go from a prompting to a life changing decision to accept Christ and experience as God turns us into a new creation. Essentially, raising us from the dead life we were existing in before Him.
No matter how hard you might try, good things end too. The White Horse Pub on Tuesday Nights was bitter sweet for me. It was amazing to watch people come to God and be baptized, but in another real sense, it ran it’s course. I took karate when I was 9, you know the free lessons people could win from Chuck Norris Karate Studios. Well, I kept at it for a little while after, but… it wasn’t too long before it was just done. And that was alright. It had it’s time. And… the pub campus had it’s place. It reached people. It put us in a place to love others who many Christians would never find themselves in contact with. I mean seriously, how many churches are having baby showers for pregnant bar-tending, strippers? God put us there to love on her, the owner, the bar tenders and wait staff. It was God’s time to shine. He worked magnificently. It was amazing to watch.
Having service in a place that has temptation, showed people’s struggles. When there’s plenty of brew flowing, things happen. We had to tell volunteers that they couldn’t be a part of the team there because they struggled with alcohol addiction. Some of them even left the church entirely. It was painful. As a team, we had to minister to them and look out for them. It taught us how to be more aware and present when it came to seeing people’s needs and struggles. We had to hold people accountable. People don’t always like it. Crap, sometimes they HATE it. But, just as we’re called to love everyone, we are told to hold our brothers and sisters in Jesus accountable. That’s tough. No way of getting around it. But, it has to been done in love. Even then, it doesn’t always end well.
Maybe it was less about the service, and more about what God was trying to teach his people. People came to God, we ruffled some conservative feathers (not on purpose), and God was honored. But, looking back, I think Forefront learned a whole lot more than the community did. How we worship God matters. People, above all programs, ideas, and things, matter. Everything we do must first stem from His plan, and no matter what people might think, we must follow Him.
It was an exciting time then, and it’s an exciting time now.
Every week people are getting baptized and Heaven is celebrating.
God has some very tough, but amazing things on the horizon for His church at Forefront.
We’ve overcome odds that were completely stacked against us.
Why?
Because God is for us. His work doesn’t end.
It may take on different forms (i.e. Vietnam, Mexico, Haiti, Joplin, P.I.N., Crisis Pregnancy Center, etc).
But, His work in you, me, and our community is far from finished.
So thankful and humbled to be where I am.
Thank you for enduring the journey, God has some great things in store.
