Series Questions: Round #6

So, we kicked off this series two weeks ago and the response has been unreal. So many of you had questions about marriage/relationships according to God & the Bible- that we decided to do an entire week of the series based on your questions. Carrie and I are going to spend all week looking at your questions and answering the rest we didn’t get to on Sunday. And now, Round 6…

Why is it that I only end up dating guys that are rude and don’t care?

Answer: Standards and non-negotiables are a big deal. God has standards for people who live a life for Him, and He lays out standards for a future partner: loves God, loves people, cares for the needy, lives selflessly, looks to honor God above anything else and honor their partner with every part of their being.

Those guys didn’t just get rude over night, they we’re rude when you met them. Raise your standard because God has a greater standard for how He loves and treats you. Don’t accept any less.

My other half is materialistic and thinks money=happiness. Family is becoming second. What should I do?

Answer: Well, Jesus warned quite a bit about the love of money. In Mark, Chapter 10, Jesus paints the picture of this love of money and the effects:

“As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honor your father and mother.’”

“Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.”

Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!” The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

We would encourage you to talk honestly about your feelings on this with your wife. Honesty is tough, but more often than not, spouses see the benefit and appreciate the heart-felt plea. Encourage the idea of a budget and allotted amounts of money each week, saving some for people who could use it. Possibly even use it for outreach projects, families you know who are without. The more open you both are, begin to reach a compromise, and hold one another accountable for purchases and use of money.

Another aspect is who your wife is placing as Lord/Savior. If she is a Christian and displaying this type of behavior, Matthew 18 is a great place to gain wisdom from in how to correct the behavior and bring it to her attention. If she is not a Christian, explain how money can break a part marriages/relationships. It’s the number one thing people get divorced over. Let her know you don’t want that and would like to take a look at your finances and see where you all can do better with them. Bring up your ideas of faith, God, and how to handle money at the appropriate time.

How do you get past prior trust violations?

Answer: Time. God. Love. Jesus talked about how we are to forgive, love, and move on. In Matthew 18 we see Jesus discuss this very idea:

“‘Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”  Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’”

Trust is one of the biggest things you need in a relationship, but it isn’t easy (at all). You simply cultivate a closer relationship with God and seek out people who can help you as you heal from this as a couple.

More To Come…
Jason and Carrie *over and out*